Saturday, March 26, 2005

I know that nobody reads this blog. That's why I stopped writing it for a few months. Well, that and depression over the Election. But even after I wasn't depressed anymore, just bitter, I didn't write anything. Why?

The problem is, I'm not serious enough. When I write about a serious subject, I crib most of it from people who are a lot more serious and much better at research than I am. When I sit down to write a funny article, it turns into work, and I'm not even serious about being funny, like Dave Barry is.

Still, I do think thoughts and it feels good to put them in writing, so I'm going to quit worrying about being serious or being serious about being funny and just write this stuff down, secure in the knowledge that nobody reads it anyway.

I've been doing a lot of laundry lately, and I've been reading the little instruction on the dryer filter: "Clean Before Loading." It occurred to me that you might also consider cleaning after loading, or even after unloading. You've got a number of options, here. However you look at it, you're cleaning between loads, right, so it's all the same, right?

But no! The dryer manufacturers, whose job it is to think deeply about this stuff, are one step ahead of us novice filter advisory writers. What they have considered, and which came to me as a revelation only today, is that at some point you will dry your very last load of laundry. You don't know which load it will be, you'll only discover that in hindsight. As you lie there dying (if you have time) you'll think back over your life and you'll think about the last time you loaded laundry in the dryer, and you'll think, "Sonuvagun! That was my last load of laundry!" And aren't you glad you didn't clean the dryer filter after your last load, because that would have been wasted effort. What do you care if the dryer filter is clean now? Let the next guy clean the filter!

Okay, there's something noble about cleaning the dryer filter for the next guy, who you'll probably never meet. And cleaning the dryer filter for the last time could be one of those putting-your-affairs-in-order things you want to do before you go. But on the other hand, it's a stupid little chore that you can pawn off onto somebody else and I'm always for that, and apparently, so are the dryer manufacturers, because that's what they advise you to do: Wait until you know that you have to dry a load of laundry before cleaning the filter, because this could be your last load.

So there it is, a little reminder of our mortality, right there on the dryer filter. Life is so freakin' poignant.

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